freya46

I finally managed to have all my questions down in writing for when my neurologist returned my call.  Here's the story.

Improvement of my condition and situation is not going to change.  I have a deteriorating condition with chronic soft tissue damage that is, amazingly enough, going to continue to deteriorate.  Funny how that works, isn't it. 

And do you know what his main restriction was??  Avoid stress.  Sigh.  I already avoid reading, watching and listening to the news because it gets me so frustrated and angry at the stupidity, duplicity and downright evil in the world that my blood pressure rockets and my muscles tighten. I live in the province of Quebec... one of the most corrupt governments in the westernized world...and I'm supposed to avoid stress?
I'm the EK List... okay..that's usually part of my daily humour requirement so it doesn't count.  But seriously?  Wrap myself up in cotton batting so nothing can touch me?  Become an ostrich?  That's what we used to call my late mother because she never wanted to here anything unpleasant.  I do NOT intend to become my mother.

What this means to me is that I am going to be spending the rest of my life as I have the past three.  However, at this point in time, since the operation released the sciatic, I don't need to worry too much about doing myself further damage.  I do have to take care with my neck cause, it hasn't been operated on nor will it be.  We already know it doesn't help much. :-(

This means I can decide whether or not I am willing to take the pain which will result from my actions.  I can live with that.  The pain is there and I proved to myself this weekend that I can handle it.  I can handle a weekend of pain for the joy and and soul replenishment that goes along with it.  (dimsum is a definite bonus goodness)

I can do as much as I can handle.  I promised him I wouldn't do any downhill, slalom or dog-sledding with SnowWalker.  I am going to have to forget about physio for now.  Perhaps after another year.... just the length of wait for the rehab appointment... convenient that. *grin*
I cannot lift anything where my arms are out from my body.  Nor without bending my knees (already done that for years).  No weights  unless my elbow is support and I'm on my back.  Shouldn't be doing laundry or dishes.  I don't do the laundry, but I will be.  I don't use paper plates and plastic cutlery... nuff said.  There are far too many *don't's* in my life and I am terribly underwhelmed.  I need some *do's*.

I won't lie and say that I had hoped to get a more positive response from him.  Because I did.  But I knew, somewhere deep inside, that it wouldn't be there.  Have I ever mentioned how much I hate being right so much of the time?

I am not going to stop going to whatever events I can get to/afford to get to.  I am not going to stop walking.  I will get a small dog when I can afford to have one... he couldn't recommend my getting a strong dog, but okayed a small one (no sled attachments allowed).  I will try to work out something that can also be a service dog.  I have no idea what organizations we have in Quebec.

I will continue to be as independent as I can.  I will try to lower the meds again at some point in the near future. 

It was the most fabulous weekend. pink_lady2 picked me up on Friday late morning.  She loaded up her van (rented) with almost all my fabric and trim and my stuff and me and, after picking up bagels for micaylah and funds for me, Timmie's for pink_lady2 and McD. for us both, we hit the road.  it was a great drive, if somewhat damp and it was disappointing to find that the roads on the 417 to Ottawa are no better than Quebec's.  I used to be able to tell when we left or entered Quebec just by the road surfaces. *grin*

So... arrived at micaylah's and after much hugs and some talking, pink_lady2 headed home and the rest of us ordered dinner.  I had a BLT in pita with mayo.  It was strangely good. :-)  And off to bed.  Oh... it would appear that my lap top is too old to use anyone else's wireless.  Couldn't get it to work without plugging directly into the modem.  Weird.

Didn't sleep well but that was due to nerves and pain, not the bed.  Morning and pink_lady2 picked me up and handed me a Timmie's sandwich. :-)  I ask you.. what could be better.  the drive took less time than expected.  there was snow on the sides of the road.  I shall not comment.  this is me..not commenting.

Arrived and once TSivia got there it was decided that I'd set up in the hall.  Through a misunderstanding on both our parts, I had far more stuff than would fit on one table.  So.. we set me up in the hallway where folks were coming into the building.

How do I describe my day at Hare.  It was a flurry of hugs and laughs and tears and sales and walks and good food... not enough time with my protegee....wait,,she shouldn't come after the food,,that's just wrong.  Ah well. *grin*

Elinor's beads went over well.  And my fabric stash suffered massively as well. :-)

I joined TSivia's Household for dinner and it was delicious.  Thank you John. :-)

Packup was swift and painless.  We got home to micaylah's and after some chitchat with the others, we went to bed.  I got a straight 8 hours sleep.  Isn't it wonderful what lack of stress will do? :-)

Next morning was dimsum. *grin*  I haven't had dimsum in over 4 years.  I had a wonderful time and wonderful food.  I even tasted some new things which were delicious... black sesame seed dessert... really really good.  A gentle sweetness.

Then.... home.  It was a good drive back and after pink_lady2 unloaded me and what's left of my *stuff*, she grabbed a bit more fabric and off home she went.

This weekend was all about pain and love and friendship.  It was perfectly balanced.  The fact that the pain continues after the event is offset by the fact that the joy and fullness of my heart and soul will outlast it massively.  *grin*  And besides... I have Voltarin and Ibuprofen. :-)

Now.... a few people to thank and if I forget you, I beg forgiveness.

pink_lady2.. you made it all possible.  Your generosity is incredible.  What you gave me this weekend cannot be measured.  Thank you.
Nathaniel and Ed who unloaded the van and put up the tables and got the fabric onto them.  Your humour and speed and care were wonderful.  I can't imagine me merchanting without Nathaniel/Dane/Clint (he has a personality problem *grin*) helping me out... it's a tradition. :-)  Thank you both.

Kit. Jacquie).. I can't remember your whole SCA name... you set up the trim, you carried and cut.  You stayed by me the whole day and made it possible for me to spend more time on my cot than I would have had i been alone.  And you did a damn fine job, too.  Always with a smile.  I'm sorry I forgot to warn you that handling the fabric all day would really dry out your hands. :-)  Thank you.

Dame TSivia... without whom I wouldn't have even thought of bringing my *stuff*.  I'm so sorry I misunderstood what you said and that you misunderstood my phone message.  (((((HUGS)))  It all worked out beautifully.  thank you for letting me join you and your household in a wonderful day and a fabulous feast.

Verenko and Tableburner... thank you for packing up the van so well and so quickly and for being so wonderful and funny and fun.  You guys are awesome.

My thanks to Ealdormere and Skrael and Caldrithig.  It was so good to see familiar faces again and to meet some new ones. :-)  I can't wait to go back again.


I know there were others.  I apologize if I missed you. Know that I appreciate everything and everyone.