freya46

5 years ago it wouldn't have occurred to me to ask someone else to set up the router for me.  Over these past years, with the pain levels increasing to the insane and then with the meds, my self esteem and assurance has taken a real nosedive.  It was never great to begin with, but I never let any of it stop me...I would just bull through and do what I needed.  I was always the one who made things work.

I no longer have that bullish ability.  I am terrified to try anything being 500% positive that I will fail miserably and just feel that much worse about myself.  Easier not to try.

I'm a little sick of this attitude and, since nobody has said they would come over to set it up, I'm going to give it a try tomorrow afternoon.  I may destroy it, but then again, I might not.

And in this vein.....

This evening I made a roast that somebody gave me a few months ago.  No, I wasn't curing the meat, it was frozen. *grin*  I just got a visual of a side of beef hanging from the dining room fan, slowly rotating. *grin*  Anyhow, I tried to remember how my mother used to make her standing rib and decided on a mix of Dijon mustard, granulated garlic, olive oil and pepper.  That's it.  I completely coated the thing and quick oven seared it at 450 and then cooked it for about 2 hours, uncovered.  You have to understand that I never learned to cook meat.  I learned in Israel and it wasn't a common thing to buy.  I've been learning about it since I came back.  I've never really made roasts.. it wasn't  terribly economical.  I mean, you can feed more on meat sauce than you can with a roast.  Right?

Anyhow.... I've been putting off cooking it because i was so sure I would ruin it.  DELICIOUS!!!  I can't wait to reheat it tomorrow for breakfast. *grin*

So, with any luck, I shall be successful with the router as well.

Fingers crossed, kay?  Thanx.