freya46

Birthdays!!!!   Happy Birthing Day to all March babies. :-)  (((((HUGS)))

It matters not only what you say or do, but how it is perceived on the other end.

either I don't post or I post a lot.  Ah well.

I'm lying here in bed, working on the laptop and I realized that I'm really scared about tomorrow.  All my life I've faced emergencies by doing what I felt needed doing without really having much time to think about it.  Like... deciding to go to Israel, dodging bullets, deciding to leave my husband and home ....none of these things gave me time to think about what would happen if I did a... or b.... or whatever.  Something needs doing and I do it. 

And now, my future is basically in the hands of one man... the neurosurgeon I'll be seeing in about 12 hours.  Until then .... i have no idea what's going to happen.  I can't even really make any plans until he tells me whether or not he can/will operate, on what and what the odds are.  I figure that if he says he can give me a 80% + chance at recovery I'll go for it.  But if it's only a temporary fix, I think I'll pass. 

At least the day will start off on a high note.  My cousin Janice is in from Toronto and we're having breakfast tomorrow at 9am.  Yeah.  I gotta get up for 8 and I'm not even beginning to feel tired.  I'll probably just stay up. :-)

and my eldest is coming in after the Seder. :-)

That's exactly what he said. and yes, he's not bad to look at either.

so, here's the scoop.

He says it can be fixed. I'm not sure of the details yet, but I believe it includes removal of some vertebrae. He says the CT scan shows a definite increase in right side involvelment, which I've been noticing and which sent me back to the neurologist in Feb. (I think).

He has sent in the requisition (marked URGENT) for an MRI. He isn't too thrilled with CT Scans for this type of problem. As soon as the Xray folks send me the date, I'm to call the neurosurgeon and make the next appointment.

When I asked if I'd be able to get off the meds, he said that's the idea. But he doesn't think my AWOL brain cells will find their way back home. That's okay. I can learn to deal with it.

No, I don't know the percentages, or the procedure, or the recoup time or anything else. I know the most important thing... and that's that he can fix that. I'll ask all the right questions later. For now, it's enough. :-)

He said the subject line with such nonchalance that I felt really good about it right off the bat. he had looked at the CT scan results before, but looked at them again while speaking with me. Hawise met me there. Ah needs mah brain.

It was a rather frantic morning. I cancelled my brekkie with my cousin because when the alarm went off at 8, I knew I wasn't gonna make it. So I called her and apologized and went back to sleep, planning on an 11am wake up. Hawise called at 10 to inform me that the car wouldn't start. That's where the frantic came in. Called Shelley, the guy who drives me when I can't find someone for free and he didn't know if he could manage, but to call him later and check. Called my cousin and she wasn't catching her train home to TO until 4, so she came to get me at noon. I called my friend Z. who picked me up afterwards. We dropped Hawise off at a Metro station and home I went.

So..... Northbard is coming in on the 9th. :-) Unfortunately, not with Tormenta, but, I'm sure I'll see her soon too. :-) I'm still thinking about doing the shelves in the dining area, but I don't think I'll sell the table. If the good Dr. can fix me, then I'll be able to sit again. So I can do my jigsaw puzzles again. :-)

But everything is still fluid. Until I have definite info, I won't make any major plans for change. :-)

So...this has been an AWESOME day. I'm still terrified of surgery. But, man, am I ever hopeful.

and I walked tonight. Not a long time, cause I did much more than usual today. But I still did it. :-) I needed too. Supper was really good. Grapeseed and peanut oil in the wok. Onions, zuchini, mushrooms, garlic, Chinese 5-spice and some diced frozen veggies. tossed with brown basmati rice (also in the wok) and topped with sesame seeds (roasted) and chopped green onions. A little tamari made it perfect. Forgot the ginger though. Next time. :-)