freya46

years ago today, I had my baby.  I was so grateful that he was okay, because we had a scare when I was 4mos pregnant.  And when he was 11 mos. old, I took my boys and left their father and our home to save our lives (and their father's).

I always swore that when I had kids, I wouldn't treat them the way my parents treated me.  It's a good plan.  Unfortunately, while I think I succeeded in that plan, I made my own mistakes.  And I owe my baby an apology.  I didn't see that he was just like me when I was a kid.  And in my own way, I did to him what my parents did to me.  That I didn't mean to do it, doesn't really matter.

Doron,  I'm sorry.  I love you.

Happy Birthday.

I'm missing our event.  I woke up with the alarm at 8am and knew this was not to be.  I still have a fever.  I thought perhaps it was more nerves, cause I'm becoming rather agoraphobic and tend to have an anxiety attack when I have to go out.  But I sent the others on without me, and I still feel just as crappy.  Except that now I'm depressed too.  Isn't it wonderful to have a self-motivated anxiety.  It feeds on itself.  I've been pretty successful so far at going past it.  This isn't it.  I had the anxiety attack about the event yesterday morning. :-)

So... well.... DAMN!!!