freya46

I'm of two minds (even that's not enough, these days) about traveling this weekend. I'm planning on Dance of the 3 Dons in Coloni, NY. That's near Albany. It's about 3 1/2 hours down the Northway (I87) and the weather is not horrid, but there is precip amd I'm a little leery of doing the drive myself. So far, nobody has piped up with interest in going. :-(

I find that I'm far more cautious now as far as deciding on whether or not to drive. I now realize that the reason old folk drive slowly is not because they're incompetent (which might still be true) but because they are more aware of their own mortality. They're simply terrified.
I seem to be joining this group. I know I'm not that old, but this past 2 years has given me a whole new appreciation for living and I find myself ... afraid to drive alone in iffy weather. On the highways, I mean. When I drove out to BIA a couple of weeks ago, it was snowing and blowing and that's when I made the discovery. I've driven through far worse than that. Waaaaay worse. I didn't enjoy it, but I did it. I was terrified.

It is not a comfortable thought. While I am basically a coward (when I can be), I usually face my fears and deal with them. It's not working. My hip and down the leg hurt when I sit for too long. Same with standing. I have a hard time falling asleep. All this, plus the iffy weather, is turning me into a "Hat". Micaylah and others who have driven with me know this connotation.
And I'm not happy about it. I know I can do the drive easily. But my fear makes me dangerous.

So...unless I have a passenger, I may not make it to 3 Dons. And I really need to go financially, as well as emotionally. I've not been out for at least a week. My own fault. I felt I was better off lying flat yesterday instead of going to the quarterly Moot.

I know getting older beats the hell out of the alternative, but I'm really not ready to be old yet.