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freya46 at 12:25am on 07/09/2007
freya46 at 12:25am on 07/09/2007Just figured I'd do an update. I'm still on the couch or my bed. My bed, I'll have you know, is the Princess and the Pea bed. Box spring, regular mattress and... a foam mattress almost as thick as the regular one. Looks weird, but it means that I can sleep in my own bed as opposed to the couch. YAY!!
Side effect of the Marijuana....my sleeping pattern has changed..drastically. No matter what time I get into bed..`11, midnight, one, two...does 't matter. I still cannot fall asleep before 4am. Usually it's anytime between 4 and 6am. That's fine if I can sleep in until the homecare lady shows up sometime after 2pm. Unfortunately, people seem to call in the am..like...9am. However, I am also able to fall back to sleep after.
Pain control, except for the damned foot, is fabulous. I'm still only able to walk a little bit. Though I can stand for longer. Problem is, because of the pain control, I don't know when I've done too much, or the wrong thing, until I do it. I need to keep reminding myself that there is no change in the problem...it's just being masked. So, if I overdo it (going shopping and out for lunch) it takes me at least 48 hours to recover. :-( But it's worth it to get out occasionally. Generally, it's about once in two weeks.
I find myself becoming very self-involved. I realize it's because of the circumstances and the resulting isolation. But it still disturbs me. This being in limbo is frustrating. Forgetting that I can['t just get up and do when I feel like it is frustrating and occasionally maddening. Because, you see, when I'm just lying here, I have no pain, except for the zaps to my foot. And, no matter how ridiculous it is, I always have that little hope that I'll get up and everything will be fine.
I think the stand up fan is dying. :-( It just has to last till the end of the heat.
Rosh Hashanah is next week. This is the first time, other than the years in Israel, that I will not be with family for Rosh Hashanah. I'm not religious as you all know. But it will be strange. My cousin invited me for lunch the first day. But I can't get there and even if I could, the only way into her home is via stairs. Cannot do stairs. But at least she offered. :-)
Okay. Self pity time limit is up. I'm going to bed to read. Night all.
Side effect of the Marijuana....my sleeping pattern has changed..drastically. No matter what time I get into bed..`11, midnight, one, two...does 't matter. I still cannot fall asleep before 4am. Usually it's anytime between 4 and 6am. That's fine if I can sleep in until the homecare lady shows up sometime after 2pm. Unfortunately, people seem to call in the am..like...9am. However, I am also able to fall back to sleep after.
Pain control, except for the damned foot, is fabulous. I'm still only able to walk a little bit. Though I can stand for longer. Problem is, because of the pain control, I don't know when I've done too much, or the wrong thing, until I do it. I need to keep reminding myself that there is no change in the problem...it's just being masked. So, if I overdo it (going shopping and out for lunch) it takes me at least 48 hours to recover. :-( But it's worth it to get out occasionally. Generally, it's about once in two weeks.
I find myself becoming very self-involved. I realize it's because of the circumstances and the resulting isolation. But it still disturbs me. This being in limbo is frustrating. Forgetting that I can['t just get up and do when I feel like it is frustrating and occasionally maddening. Because, you see, when I'm just lying here, I have no pain, except for the zaps to my foot. And, no matter how ridiculous it is, I always have that little hope that I'll get up and everything will be fine.
I think the stand up fan is dying. :-( It just has to last till the end of the heat.
Rosh Hashanah is next week. This is the first time, other than the years in Israel, that I will not be with family for Rosh Hashanah. I'm not religious as you all know. But it will be strange. My cousin invited me for lunch the first day. But I can't get there and even if I could, the only way into her home is via stairs. Cannot do stairs. But at least she offered. :-)
Okay. Self pity time limit is up. I'm going to bed to read. Night all.
cranky
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