freya46

This is me doing the "Snoopy dance of Joy"!!! He's gone!!!! We all survived. It was a close thing until my super let me use the empty apt.next door to sleep in.

It's amazing how terribly intrusive some people can be. And obnoxious. I had told my father how terrible the services in this city had become...as our taxes increase, the service decreases. At a rate of 2-1. But, as usual, he didn't believe me. Until a complete stranger told him the same thing. Then it became true.

I know we are supposed to respect our parents, but I need to tell you the truth here.
I don't. I respect his accomplishments. I respect his ability to survive and function within his continually shrinking world. The man is 92 this month and he's just starting to work for a new company. He lives alone. I respect the accomplishments and durability. I don't respect, nor love, the parent. Nor do I feel the least bit guilt.

He has earned neither from me. I know my sig line says love is given. But it can also be destroyed. My brother and I (especially him...he's incredible) do what we do because it's the right thing. Not through love. And all he does is bitch. though not to me anymore. Last time he bitched about my brother not having the time for him I gave him such a lecture on what an ungrateful bastard he was. Our father would be dead if it were not for my brother living in Toronto, close by, and willing to put in the amount of time he does.

I am really glad that Northbard is enjoying his grandfather's company. I want that for him. My father has done some amazing things in his life. I'm glad my son can get something from the relationship. It's too late for me. I no longer want him. I have reconciled myself to being an orphan from birth. I look on my parents as poor foster parents who did what was necessary to provide a decent physical life for a child ..
without the emotional trappings of love and respect. I know, in their own way, they loved us. Unfortunately, it was a very damaging form of love.

Anyhow. The old shit is gone. I've got my home back. Funny..I'd rather have 20 people who are my chosen family rather than one nasty old man. Not funny. Sad. For him. He's lost out on so much. He has no idea who his children really are. And never will. The saddest part is...he truly believes he's been a great father.