freya46

Today is my youngest son's 32nd birthday. He has not spoken to me in about a year. The reason doesn't matter. The fact does. It is very hard to sit here and know that the child I carried for 9 months, got abused for getting pregnant with and went through hell not knowing if I had to terminate for medical reasons, and finally birthed, will not acknowledge my presence on this earth.

There is no blame on my part. Only a deep and abiding sorrow. I am not, nor was I the best parent in the world. I can only do my best.

I love my son. It hurts something awful. And I know I cannot do a damned thing about it. Because no matter how often I tell him I love him and want him in my life, he does not accept it. That is his choice and he has the right to it. But I don't have to like it.

I believe he reads this journal. If you are, Son, know I love you. I wish you happiness in your life. I will always be here.

Love

Mom