freya46

My cousin's funeral was today. It was standing room only. We decided that it was because of his age. He hadn't had a chance to outlive his peers. :-(
My father said that when he died, we'd be lucky to get a minyan (10 adults). I promised I'd hire extra's. He's 90. My brother and I decided that he wouldn't have a minyan because he's such a nasty SOB.

But at the shiva house, my brother told me that everyone kept telling him and my S.I.L. how wonderful his father was how nice, etc. And David and Susan just kept smiling and nodding their heads... make that grimacing...like those stupid dogs in the rear windows of cars.

My cousin's brother gave the most marvelous eulogy. What an eloquent speaker. And it was all from the heart. It was strange to hear him say what I do so often.. hug those you love and tell them, because you never know when you're going to lose that chance. Remember that, won't you?

A. was great. I'm so glad he came. My youngest didn't show up, nor did he leave me a message. Sigh. I'm beginning to feel like I know what it's like to lose a child. Actually, I do. I lost him years ago. It really sucks, you know?

I hate today. I don't remember the last time I cried this much. It hurts my head. I think I'll find another way to express my misery when necessary. Maybe a beeper.

I'm off to bed soon. No music. Thanks for being here.
(((((HUGS)))